A Love That Never Left

I remember as a small child, maybe around 6 years old; learning the prayer that Yahushua taught us in Matthew 6:9-13. I was so excited standing in the last pew of a Catholic Church with my mom and step dad who brought us there that one time, if I can recall correctly. My sister Pam and I practically yelling out that prayer we memorized in a Methodist church we attended with our dad. People were turning around giving us the look to be quiet but we continued with smiles on our faces right down to the Amen!

I share that story with you because by this time in my young life I had already experienced my parents’ divorce, my mom’s addiction to alcohol and sexual abuse. But yet I had such love for the Word and I may not have understood what that prayer meant but I felt Him. I felt His joy and a love I couldn’t explain but I knew it existed, a love I so desperately longed for and needed.

I was in the third grade when I received my first bible from Pastor R.A. Pegrim. He wrote inside “God will richly bless you as you read His Word.” I didn’t understand what that meant at the time but I do now. The blessing comes out of obedience, trusting and obeying His Word. Reading the bible has shown me my purpose for living. It’s not to live a perfect life without trials. Those times in life when we are hurting, in pain or humbled by our mistakes, is when our Father is molding us to be more like him. We have a choice; we can draw closer or further away from Yahweh. We can blame Him or depend on Him for His help. Yahweh didn’t want me to be sexually abused but we live in a world where there is freedom to sin. He didn’t stop it but He challenged me to find the gifts He created in me when I felt at my lowest, to know His goodness even in the process of dealing with my pain. I am a follower of Yahushua, I can’t really find in the scriptures where the believers had an easy carefree life. What I do see is that they found joy in all things, no matter what the circumstances.

Back in 1985, three years after I received my bible, I wrote in the front page that I was going to read it every day and even though I broke that promise, what amazes me to this day is that I still have that bible! That bible has traveled with me to many homes and different destinations throughout my youth, even when I spent time in jail. More to come on that story but it has reminded me that no matter what I’ve been through, Yahweh loves me and He will not leave me as long as I’m seeking Him.

As I share my life story and attempt to express my thoughts, some good, some painful but I pray that you can see Yahweh was there, always with me. His love never left me. He hasn't left you either. Draw near to Him and He will draw near to you!

Cast your burden on Yahweh, and let Him sustain you; He never allows the righteous to be shaken. Psalms 55:22

Until my next entry, Yahweh bless you!